Series: A Fall Away Novl, Book #1.5
Author: Penelope Douglas
Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance
Release Date: December 5, 2013
Tour Organizd by: As the Pages Turn
***This novel contains graphic sexual content and harsh language. It is only appropriate for adult readers age 18+.
Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.
Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don't care about anything or anyone.
I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn't trust her or anyone else.
So I hurt her. I pushed her away.
But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her...they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.
But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.
Now, when I push, she pushes back.
Review—Until You by Penelope Douglas
“I’d be happier without her around, I told myself. She was nothing. And yet, I heard the little voice in the back of my head. She was everything.”
Jared loves to hate Tate, this we’ve already established in Bully. But reading his POV and his story, even if it was a version of hers; was amazing. I was pulled in from the very beginning with how their story unfolded through his eyes. I loved not only the interaction they had together, but his with other people as well. Jared is a straight up asshole. But he has perfect reason as to why he is that way…
“God I missed her. The reality disgusted me, but it was true. When I hated Tate, my world got small. I didn’t see all the other shit: my mom, my dad, or my brother in foster care. If I only just had her here again, I would be such a jumble of fucking breathing fits and outbursts.”
Tate and Jared’s story starts when they are just ten years old. She moves in next door and instantly, Jared’s world is better. In retrospect, that was when he first fell in love with her…except when you’re ten, it doesn’t register that way. Instead, they quickly became inseparable and solidified a friendship that should’ve lasted forever…maybe turned into something more when the time came. Instead, life throws curve balls and what once was is no longer.
“She was everything. She knew my game, she matched me, and she was going to be a joy to take down. Then, and only then, would I have proven that I didn’t need her or anyone else.”
Jared learns a hard lesson the summer before high school starts…something drilled into his head over and over as he was beaten past bloody. No one wants him, no one loves him, and he is alone. Now, Jared just has to prove to himself that even Tate falls into that category with him. Except he can’t…so instead, he punishes her.
“Passion, punishment, anger—it sounded like an attractive but dangerous mix.”
“She was lying. It was all an act. All I’d wanted when I was fourteen was her. And she hadn’t been thinking about when I was screaming for her. She didn’t miss me while as I was my father’s that summer. She didn’t want me then, and she didn’t want me now. The day I got back, I’d needed her so goddamn much, and she hadn’t given me a fucking thought.”
It’s all over now. Tate is done being pushed and when she pushes back, Jared first takes it as a challenge…soon realizing that there is more at stake than just the game of hating Tate…he may actually lose her. Forever. Her reactions are becoming less reactive…more indifferent. When someone doesn’t care anymore, there is a shift in power. Jared isn’t sure losing control with the one girl he fought so hard to push away is the best thing; but it sure is the hardest.
“Tate. My Tate. My best friend, and my worst enemy. The girl that turned my world upside down with her overalls and red baseball cap. The only person in every one of my good memories.”
So, I guess Jared never hated Tate…but he played the game so damn well, I hated him. I always thought about when you’re small and the how the boy that likes you always does mean things to you because at least you were paying him attention. When will boys learn? Instead of hurting her, if he ran to her instead of away, things might have turned out differently. Anger, pain, conflict, desperation, hopelessness. All of these emotions are hard for any person to deal with alone. I loved how Douglas brought all of these things out in Jared with this book. I caught glimpses of it the first go around with Tate’s POV in Bully, but when she is taken from the equation (for even just a moment), you see just how far a boy will go NOT to be something he despises…even if he turns into just that.
“I hurt her, not because I hated her, but because I hated that I wasn’t strong enough to not love her.”
**5 Freedom in the Fall Stars**
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00H3XQTUW
iTunes: Coming Soon