The lines are blurred between what is real and what isn't, the darkness that was once a place I feared was now a place of safety. If I stayed in the darkness, the hellish reality of what was truly happening no longer seemed real.
But I was about to be pulled out from under the consuming blanket of dark shadows, and plunged into the murky depths of my past. I was about to be shown my demons and all it's evil sides, all of it's pain and grief. I could only hope I survive it.
What happens when the world you once knew crumbles and falls at your feet? Who will find me? Who will save me from my demons?
My dark prince or my white knight...
And will I find myself in the process.
Review—Finding Me by S.K. Hartley
“Death is one of life’s biggest weakness, it is the one thing that will break even the strongest of people.”
Neva honestly didn’t think she’d ever come out of this situation alive. Beaten and bound, at the mercy of a certified lunatic, Neva struggles to come to peace with not only what is about to happen but the betrayal of how she ended up in her current situation to begin with…
“Suddenly, pain shredded through my chest, pulling all of the air from my lungs. But it wasn’t the pain that coursed through my limbs, it was the pain I was all too familiar with. Deceit, betrayal, pain, fear. The pain was terrifying, no demon I conjured within the pit of hell compared to the pain I feel right now.”
Doing the only thing she can think to do, in order to have a chance of surviving…taunt the sick man who has plotted revenge for over ten years. Find a way to get help…her cell phone, luckily still in her pocket. Even the smartest of criminals’ slip-up sometimes.
“You came.” Her voice was husky and sounded painful. Christ, what has he done to her? Her eyes are fluttering, as if she was falling asleep. I need to keep her awake. I slowly rain soft kisses across her beautiful face, careful not to hurt her. Her body responds immediately to my touch, covering her from head to toe in goose bumps. I trail my lips to her swollen red cheeks to her ear, hoping to god she will understand me. “I will always find you, Neva. Always.” I whisper.”
Logan. Once again, Logan comes to her rescue. Every time she has needed him for over the last ten years, he has always been there. The love he feels for Neva knows no bounds and he will do whatever it takes to prove that he is the one for her…but when is enough, enough? How many times can one man stand to have his heart ripped from his chest because the woman he loves runs away the minute things get tough?
The fight is no longer for Neva’s heart though, it’s for her sanity. How much hell can one person really go through before they succumb to the demons and wallow in their own personal pits of hell? Fighting for her heart was easy, Logan never thought getting through to Neva’s mind would be the real challenge. He knows her, has known her forever…and loves her. Every broken piece. Problem is, can she love herself enough push through the demons keeping her from fully living a life of love and happiness? Or will she pull everyone down into her own personal hell of the past she can’t seem to escape.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Logan.” She whispers, her breath caressing the skin on my cheek. She doesn’t want to hurt me? Too late. She has done it too many times to count, but yet I still love her. I still need her. I need to love her. “You already have.” I say on a shaky breath.”
What a fabulous tale about fighting the internal battles of PTSD. Neva has got to be one of the strongest, yet stubborn women I’ve read about. After reading Finding You, I was floored with the way things were left…Finding Me picked right up and threw me face-first into the hell she faced…not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. While I wasn’t gripped into this story like I was the first, I definitely didn’t want to stop reading. Logan is a dream and a true “alpha”, especially when it comes to Neva. I love them together. Finding your soul mate is one thing, finding it in your best friend is just pure gold.
**4 Fight for Love Stars**
"Neva, don't walk away from me!" Logan spits.
He is angry. What right did he have to be angry with me? I wasn't the one flirting with another girl. Why was he even here anyway? "Go away, Logan!" I say, walking faster.
Suddenly my arms are latched to my back and I am being spun around. My heartbeat picks up around twenty notches as I come eye to eye with Logan.
"Why the hell are you always running from me? I can't take it when you run from me!"
"I'm not doing this now. Let me go." I say, trying to get my wrist free from his grasp.
"No, we are doing this now. Why the hell did you run?"
"We're all running from something, Logan." I spit, repeating Dex's words.
"You still don't get it do you? How much clearer do I need to be for you to understand that I'm not going anywhere? I have been in love with you for ten years, Neva! Ten years. It isn't just going to go away!"
"I never asked you to love me! Why are you doing this to me?" "Because I hate seeing you fall and not get back up. I want to be the one to catch you, but you keep pushing me away!"
"What do you want from me?" I whisper.
"You. Just you. All of you. Every broken piece."
I bow my head. He releases my wrists from behind my back, and they drop to my side. I can't give him what he wants. I just can't do it. I will break him. Christ, I break myself on a daily basis.
"I can't give you that." I say, taking a step back.
"I'm not giving you up without a fight, Neva. You can't just walk away from us!"
"I am protecting you the only way I know how."
"I don't need protecting. What part of me looks like it needs protecting?"
"Your heart." I whisper. I gulp back the tears that were begging to release. I would not cry. But every time I pushed back that feeling, it hurt just a little bit more.
"You're breaking it right now." He whispers, taking a step towards me.
"I will break it over and over again, Logan. My nightmares will hurt you, my fear of people being ripped away from me will gut you, and my anxiety will spike yours."
"I can take pain, Neva. I had dealt with it for the past three weeks. I would rather have the pain with you, than without you."
"I … I." The words are at the tip of my tongue. Waiting to release, but I know if I say them, everything will change. Nothing will be the same and I will drag him into the pit of hell where my heart lies and my nightmares are real.
S.K. Hartley is a mother, wife and a writer. Based in the not so sunny North West of England you can find her either glued to her computer desk, in the public library (Yes, they do still exist!) or floating around her favourite authors books signings.
S.K. Hartley has an unhealthy obsession with coffee, chocolate and retro computer games and a healthy obsession of stalking indie authors.